Even When it Hurts

I want to know when someone "hates."

“Little souls wish you to be unhappy. It aggravates them to have you joyous, efficient, and free. They like to feel that fate is disciplining you. It gives their egos wings if yours are clipped. You can ruin your life in an hour by listening to their puerile opinions.” David Seabury

It amazes me when I look around and see the fake “sides” in America begging for some kind of “hate” speech or censorship law. When the Attorney General of the nation completely throws out the 1^st Amendment of The U.S. Constitution and blurs the line between liberty and tyranny while stating, “There’s free speech and there’s hate speech”, it should cause everyone concern.

I determined long ago that I would rather know where someone stands. I want to know what someone thinks about things, and what they think about me (with civility, of course).

In a world where young people have been duped into believing that everyone who is in their “group” on social media are somehow their “friends,” we have been tricked into thinking that everyone is our friend and no one should be mean to us. “How dare you say that, I’m going to un-friend you!” We have been completely hoodwinked into believing it is possible to have a phony world in which no one will ever say anything we disagree with, because they all love one another and are all “friends.” This, of course, is utterly impossible.

If I go to a soul food restaurant that is staffed by all African Americans and I can feel an atmosphere of hatred for me (regardless of whether it is because I am white) should I go ahead and take a seat and place my order? Will the chef blow their nose in my food? Will I get a little surprise in the dipping sauce? I will never know. Imagine if this same restaurant had a sign on the door that said, “No whites allowed.” I would have a couple of choices, I could just walk right by that restaurant, or I could still tempt fate and go in and, after cautiously nibbling at the meal, leave a really bad review for that restaurant online. I could tell everyone I know not to go to that place because the proprietor is racist and God only knows what they do to the food. (No offense to soul food restaurants here. Please know, I am using this as a glaring example.)

The point is: I want to know! I want to know if someone “hates” me so I can avoid them at all cost. I do not want people to pretend to be nice and say all the right things, while in their hearts they absolutely loathe me and wish me sick or dead, scheming and figuring out ways to harm me while at the same time putting on a completely fake façade, pretending to be my friend just so they will not get into trouble by the thought police.

Let us say I choose to recreate with a group of people I consider “friends.” It is a weekly affair in which we come together to play cards, board games, or whatever. One day I am speaking with one of these “friends” outside the group event and they say, “you do know that no one in this group likes you right?” “After you leave everyone rakes you over the coals about everything you say and do.” I immediately think, “why in the heck didn’t someone have the courage to say something to me months ago?” I have been wasting my time doing things with these people that absolutely loathe me… and for what?

And do not even get me started on the ridiculous “free speech” issue. I am a free speech absolutist. I even go so far as saying that a person should be able to scream fire in a crowded theater… if they are willing to suffer the consequences of putting people in danger (and there should be extreme consequences). There is a big difference between a childish and dangerous prank, and someone who shows themselves holding a gun and has verbiage below their picture that indicates they literally intend to kill someone.

If we do not know where someone stands, how can we possibly decide whether we want that person to be part of our lives or not? If we are not allowed to hear opinions and viewpoints we disagree with, how do we know what post we should subscribe to, podcast we listen to, TV show we watch, news we consume, and any other media we expose ourselves to? How in the heck do we know when to use our off button? And, guess what? We all have off buttons. I have not found one thing in today’s world in which I am not allowed to turn it off, turn the channel, or unsubscribe from. We are not forced into being exposed to anything we do not want to be exposed to.

I do not want to live in a world where everyone is phony and says “the right thing”… the “thing” determined by whatever political ideology is popular at the time. I want to know if someone hates me and everything I stand for. I want to see so-called “hatred” so that I can decide whether to stay away from said person or group. I love honesty. I shun phoniness and plastic smiles.

We need to think very carefully before we start cheering for others we disagree with being “shut down,” doxed, or outed as some kind of hater. Ultimately, when tides shift, and they always shift, we may be the victim of the very thing we cheered happening to someone else.

“…if you wear a “socially acceptable” mask, those whom you seek will walk right by you. And those whom you do attract with the mask will only add to the pressure that you be something other than yourself.” Harry Browne 1973

Harry Browne said it brilliantly. Do we really want to live in a society in which we are all the same? All automatons with no original thoughts? Where the only people we attract to us are all phony just like we are? Where we are all constantly walking on eggshells because someone may get “offended”?

I know I do not. I determined long ago that the only people I care about what they think of me is my family and close friends. No one else matters. If the stranger on the street does not like me or what I stand for, oh well. I certainly do not want them to pretend they like me. I want to get as far away from them as possible. The only way that can happen is with honest and civil speech.