Forgiveness

Is it only for the "religious" among us?

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” … Luke 23:34

I was walking recently and began to reflect on the man-made noise around me. It is something I do quite often while going about my life… you know, focus on the insolent, the inconsiderate, the selfish, the lawless, the… in other words, what many of us, in our frustration, may call the dregs of society.

An advantage to those of us who take time to think is, we often find answers to the things that have become niggling, wasp like issues in our lives.

You see, I was raised to be considerate, respectful, kind, generous (if possible), and, yes, forgiving. It seems over the years I have forgotten about the forgiving part. I have spent so much time focusing on what is going wrong with society, and have cemented my hatred for this insanity so firmly, that it has become an obsession. Do not get me wrong, I do not have hatred for these “dregs,” I just expect so much more from my fellow humans. I have always believed that if I can show positive qualities to others around me, that most people should be able to as well.

So, back to the forgiveness thing. As I was fuming on my walk, and thinking about the madness all around me, I suddenly realized just how easy it has been for me to forgive others for wrongs that affected me personally. You know, the ones that are in your face like; the date that never showed up. The friend that promised a fishing trip and never showed up, but went with someone else. The promises of trips and activities by a father only to be disappointed when those promises ended up being pipe-dreams, and other things that seemed to hurt so bad at the time, but are now distant memories. I do not hold any of these things against those in my life who have been an integral part of my life, the people I have known through the years. I have completely forgiven them, and only think about these things in a situation like this one, where I am purposely remembering them.

What I do struggle with is forgiving those whom I do not know. This realization struck me like a ton of bricks. It was one of those “aha” moments that will, hopefully, stay with me for the rest of my life. I will not wax religious here except to prove a point. I have never hidden the fact that I consider myself a committed Christian and have read the Holy Bible constantly my entire life. My struggle with “forgiveness of strangers” did not become apparent until I recalled the verse above: “…forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

I realize this verse was in reference to the fact that a Savior was being tortured and murdered for daring to live a truly good life, going about doing good for everyone, while ruffling the feathers of the government of his time by speaking words that threatened their existence while, at the same, time showing the people they did not need these monsters ruling over them. (That’s a great conversation for another time) The verse proved relevant to me because I realized I was not showing the same mercy to strangers in my life!

Sure, we expect people to be decent, loving, considerate, respectful, and courteous (to name a few) but what we usually get is quite the opposite, especially if we are paying attention. The fact is, in most cases, a staggering majority of the public has not been taught that these qualities matter in life and, if those qualities have been taught, many in the public truly do not care if what they are doing affects anyone else. They have wrapped themselves up in such a completely selfish bubble that they cannot see how the things they are doing affects others. These same people might use phrases like, “it’s a free country and I can do what I want” (which really gets me riled up… our freedom (in most cases) ends at the point where what we are doing with our “freedom” begins affecting others negatively).

So, what have I done differently now that I have experienced this revelation of truth? I have begun forgiving people. Complete strangers. Oh, I am not walking down the street screaming “I forgive you” every time I see or experience something completely contrary to what I believe is good behavior. It is my mindset that is changing. Instead of fuming about what a piece of human excrement someone is, I just say (after an exasperating sigh), “they have no idea what they are doing.”

Forgiving people for being ignorant is the hardest personality change I have ever tried to accomplish in my entire life. I have very little patience for people who do not give a (bleeper) about anyone but themselves. The fact remains… many of them *truly* have no idea that they are acting out in ways that adults should not. We have become a society of “adult” children. Many of these people have been raised in front of their TVs (and now mobile devices) with little, if any, input from their parents. Most of them have not had a parent with impeccable character to set an example.

Is it fair for us to hold these negative things against the ignorant among us? How many of us have been forgiven for doing something stupid and thoughtless? How many of us, at one time, did not know that what we were doing was harming or affecting a stranger, yet were forgiven or provided an opportunity to grow out of that behavior or activity?

So, here is where I am with all this forgiveness stuff now: Forgiveness does not mean we ignore the evil around us. It does not mean we do not speak up when we see evil right in front of us. For example, I will never forget the time when some young men a block away from my home were playing their “boom car” music so loud (for *hours*) it was shaking every window in my house and those around me… I marched down to their car on foot, and as soon as I got within 20 feet of their car, they knew exactly what I was there for and immediately turned down their music… That is what the adults in the room should be doing… *standing* for something better, setting an example, and not being afraid to speak up when unsavory behavior and deeds are happening in front of us! I am finding that forgiveness means seeing the evil, being aware of those who are participating in it, not giving them a free pass, but being willing to whisper, “I forgive you because you have no idea what you are doing!”

This new personal philosophy has given me much more peace of mind. It does not mean I am completely over everything that happens around me (to be that way would place me in the same boat with those who need to be forgiven for their ignorance!), what it does mean is I have less stress. When we realize just how lost most of the public are, we can often drum up a bit of mercy and compassion for just how bad their lives are, just how lost they may be, and just how bad things are going to be if we do not turn this ship around.

In the meantime, my walks are much more enjoyable knowing that if a truly good man being killed for daring to be different can forgive those who are literally murdering him for his innocence I should, at a minimum, be able to muster a bit of forgiveness for those who are not murdering me… but are only irritating the heck out of me.