Is Courtesy the Answer?
Can we heal our society by just thinking of someone else once in awhile?
“Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.” Benjamin Franklin
virtuous
1. having or showing high moral standards
moral
1. concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior
2. holding or manifesting high principles for proper conduct
As someone who has followed “liberty” most of my life, I often struggled with understanding what so many wise people before us had to say about virtue, morality and courteousness as it pertains to being free and living in a society with bountiful liberty and self-governance.
Some years ago it clicked for me. I don’t remember where I was or what I was doing at the time but it was one of those “light-bulb” moments. An epiphany that was overwhelming and caused me to examine myself in ways I never had. I believe that if every person who claims to love liberty would “get” the concept of a virtuous society, we could change the world drastically in just a few years.
You see, the way we act and treat one another really does affect society as a whole. There’s no shortage of sociopaths and psychopaths. No shortage of what we now call “Karens” (previously busybodies). They’re always among us looking for ways to satiate their desire for power over others and if they can’t do it by getting into politics, they accomplish their plans by calling police, CPS, animal control or whatever arm of government they think can get them what they want (which is usually to stop someone from doing something they don’t like).
This is a very complicated subject for sure. Everyone has different values, morals, ethics and world views but, in my opinion, in America we used to have some very basic virtues that kept our society running smoothly for the most part and the majority of us agreed that we should adhere to some basic rules of conduct and behavior for the good of us all (on our *own* *without* needing police enforcement). I would like to give some examples of things that we could change almost overnight if we would just realize that for us to be free, we have to be kind, courteous and decent toward one another:
If our dogs are barking non-stop at all hours of the day and night in our neighborhood for no good reason we are just pissing people off. Eventually, someone calls the police or animal control, or worse yet, petitions government for more laws concerning noise, etc. With more laws, comes more cops to spank us and tell us what to do.
If we have ridiculous “boom cars” with woofers that fill the entire trunk and back seat that shake homes and can cause arrhythmia and we don’t have the decency to turn it down or off while driving through our neighborhoods or while filling up our fuel tank we are pissing people off. Again, someone eventually is going to snap and either commit violent acts or like I mentioned above, call the police. Again, we end up needing more cops/government to tell us what to do.
If we don’t have the decency to slow down in our vehicles when we see a group of people with children walking in the area we, again, piss people off. Once again, the police eventually get called and we need more cops to continue to do the job that we should be doing ourselves through self-control, courtesy, care for one another and by using common sense.
As usual, I could go on and on for pages and pages listing examples of behavior that we have complete control over that only serves to piss people off and make them want to petition government to control that behavior by using force and/or violence on them.
There are lots of so-called “Libertarians” that would say we can do anything we want and that things I’m speaking of don’t necessarily “harm” someone so it’s okay. I completely disagree with that. Anything we do that negatively affects someone else’s peace *is* violence. If we hurt someone mentally by something we do, that is violence, and don’t even get me started on some of the incredible noise with the boom cars and exhaust systems (this includes “Harleys”, sorry man, but you bikers need to think of others as well) that can not only affect someone’s mental health but can also cause *physical* harm by causing arrhythmia.
Every time we treat a stranger like crap. Every time we choose not to hold the door open for someone (*without* needing to be thanked). Every time we only think of ourselves and what we want no matter how it affects those around us we are just adding fuel to the fire. (Please keep in mind I am *not* talking about putting on a ridiculous face diaper or taking medications “for my neighbor” THAT is insane, I am only speaking of human *behavior*). For every unkindness we only increase government’s power.
When we can’t control ourselves there is *always* someone who will petition government to control us. This has become an epidemic in America. People screaming for liberty while lacking any kind of courteousness, kindness or self-control have got it wrong. We absolutely will never have liberty or self-governance without caring about others. It’s impossible.
There will always be those sociopaths and psychopaths in society that will never be satisfied. They used to be ignored in America and now they are placed on a pedestal and given a voice by corporate media but they are still such a small minority. How do we overcome them? By *ignoring* them and doing what we know to be right without them. We focus on the ones we care about. Our families, our neighbors and our communities. We make the sociopaths obsolete like they pretty much used to be in the previously free America.
As usual, I’m rambling and I apologize for my poor writing skills. I’m hoping that my point came across and that is, in a nutshell: It’s impossible for people to self-govern and live free if they treat each other like crap. We have complete control over this. We can’t keep relying on government to solve every single problem in society (*especially* behavior issues). Having liberty means that we have to allow others their liberty as well, but we *must* practice courtesy and self-control if we want government to stay out of our lives.
Sorry for the rant. I started typing and this came out.
I understand the notion of controlling yourself or else others will control you. But I have issue with where this all stops. There is a fine line between living to be courteous and living your own life. If you find yourself in the midst of several neighbors who are triggered by anything outside of their immediate control, you will be living the life they want you to live if courtesy is the primary driver of your behavior.
You think wearing a face mask for COVID control is "insane" but as you know there are millions of fanatics who believe otherwise. Why is it ok to not be courteous to them (calling them insane) when being so will provide for peaceful coexistence? Because, IMO, it is really about values and not about laws. About respect of the individual leading to a courteous existence. Life is more uncomfortable the greater the divide in our values and the more comfortable the more our values are in alignment.
The question of the times is how do we come into better alignment on values when there is no overriding central motivator or common belief? For so many the government has replaced God/religion and personal responsibility. IMHO we should be working to identify the basic human needs and extrapolate them to encompass a humanistic philosophy that is totally inclusive and impossible to deny (not by law but rather by rational, natural logic). I think this approach gets to your "doing what we know to be right" comment in an agreed upon manner. Much thought on this has already been done, it needs a grassroots movement to get it established. I think there is a growing population that is willing to look at life amongst humans in a different way, a way with a long-term future. The ways of the world have changed. Whether we accept it or shape it is up to us but not for long.
Certainly true. The age of consumerism and globocap has produced individuals that care more about what they can get and how much power over others they can amass. In bygone times folks were more community oriented because community was NECESSARY for life, now you can go it alone if need be - shopping, Uber eats to the door, private transport, work from home, internet shopping, social media etc. all facilitates this separation. We don’t need others and have lost the ability to negotiate. Wokism and cancel culture has only sought to further this divide. Of course the problem arises when we don’t agree that the behaviour in question is causing any problem. But again ... this is where the ability to negotiate comes in useful. As the currently unfavourable writer, on accounts of his birthplace, says: “Every one is really responsible to all men for all men and for everything.” - Dostoyevsky.