Mother May I?
We've been conditioned to be compliant our entire lives
Like many of you, over the last 2.5 years I have been shocked by people’s compliance level to some of the most insane and, in many cases, damaging rituals and “mandates” ever pushed on the public in world history. Some of you here might have been one of the compliant and I hope by now you have resigned yourself to never allow someone to wave a magic wand and tell you what to do with your life (or your own body) ever again. I hope you are now willing to suffer fines and maybe even imprisonment to stand on principle above all else. Our own principles are all we really have, aren’t they? Don’t we all revel in the fact that we are unique individuals with different needs and wants? Don’t we also appreciate that fact? Personally, as much as people can drive me nuts at times, I am really glad we aren’t all the same.
How has a society that used to relish freedom and liberty above all else come to this? People world wide used to look to America as a place where people wouldn’t put up with garbage and would fight tooth and nail to hold on to their liberty. People that would stand firm come hell or high water. Sadly, I think those days are behind us. Americans are a bit embarrassing. Even chickens know to come in out of the rain. But now, it appears we have a large swath of the populace that would stay out in the rain as long as someone who won an election or is wearing a lab coat tells them to.
I have been thinking about the ways in which people are taught to be obedient. When one reflects on their life with new eyes it can be overwhelming to consider. I am not saying that a rebellious, lawless society is a good thing either, please do not misunderstand me here. But we have a society that has been trained to snap to attention and ask their master how far to jump in so many ways that we don’t even know anymore when to question the authority of those who are telling us to jump. Much less the validity of the order in the first place.
Think of the ways in which we have been taught to be obedient. Things that may have seemed innocent at the time have had long lasting impacts on our lives. Things that have taken away our natural desire to be independent with good, selfish, personal goals and desires have instead been replaced with a weird mandate for collectiveness that historically destroys societies. Things as harmless as children’s games that, looking back on them now, truly show how we have voluntarily embraced having an authority figure over us telling us what to do all of the time. Games like: Mother May I? Where someone is voted to be the “mother” and the others in the group have to ask permission to move or do other activities. Yeah, it seemed fun at the time… but oh the brain screwing we were getting. And then there’s Simon Says. Same principle, different name. Red Light Green Light is another conditioning “game” we played as children where, again, a leader from among the pack of children is “chosen” to lord over the group and tell them when it was okay to run and when to stop. Then we move on from there to children having to embarrassingly raise their hand and ask permission to go potty. The list goes on and on.
Then there’s young adult life. Those of us who served in the military can attest to the complete brainwashing one gets about authority and “rules.” (Again, I am not saying there is not a place for rules and authority at times. A military without rules, like ours is becoming, is useless). It took me a good 10 years after I got out of the military to not tremble with fear of any “boss” or “authority figure.” It used to be that once a person went to college many of the “rules” one had become accustomed to were loosened a bit, but now I’m thinking it’s not that way at all. Your “professor” is the new “Mother” in the Mother may I game. Your “administration” decides whether you restrict your oxygen intake and whether you take experimental medicines inside of your body for the “privilege” of participating in the collective they are building. Social media continues the pressure and the conditioning by stirring up your collective “friends” to push an “approved” agenda that, once again, makes us subject to someone’s assumed “authority.” It just goes on and on and on.
Many of you may think that some of the things I mentioned are a good idea. I will definitely grant that the subject is complex and cannot be hashed out in a 2-page post on a website. After all, most of us want a civil society and a few rules to live by. Most of us do not want children who just do whatever they want. We want standards of behavior and common courtesy. We even want a bit of compliance with authority. The problem is figuring out when and where it’s appropriate to submit to said “authority.”
I believe one thing we need to realize is that most authority in our society anymore is *assumed* authority! “I won an election so I have a “mandate” to rule over you.” “I went to medical school for 12 years and studied hard so now I know best and you need to do what I tell you.” “I passed a physical and went to a few months of law enforcement training, now *I* am the law and you have to do everything I tell you and if you don’t, I’ll back it up with a gun (violence).” Or, one of my favorites, “I was born from a “royal” blood line and so you just naturally must do what I say, after all, I am better than you.”
I am unable to advise anyone what to do about this in their own lives. I cannot tell people the best way to raise their children or when to “comply” with things. What I can do is use my own life as an example. If I am told to do something that I know in my gut is wrong… I say NO. If I am pressured to “conform” to the herd… I say NO and find another herd. If I am stopped by the “law” and am not doing anything that is hurting anyone else, I stay silent and ask for an attorney. If someone in a lab coat tells me that I must take something inside my body because “they said,” I walk out. If someone tells me I cannot have something because I am not towing the line, I either do without or find a way to make that thing I want a reality by creating it myself or finding someone who is willing to work with me to make it happen. If a politician waves their magic wand and tells me I must do something I know is just really weird and not right… I refuse. Period.
We all need to decide who our bosses are. Are they our parents, politicians, doctors, the police, our supervisor at work, our teacher/professor, or God? Or are we our own boss once we know the true difference between right and wrong? Like I always say, I choose *independence* over dependence every time the choice is before me. I hope that after the last 2.5 years, you are beginning to do the same.
“Morality is doing what is right regardless of what you are told. Obedience is doing what is told regardless of what is right.” H.L. Mencken
Ahhh, right and wrong. Who is to say what is what for society? What is society? America used to have a fairly consistent and widespread set of acceptable morals but today we just have laws and arguments.
I think that a significant but under appreciated societal shift is the replacement of music culture with video game culture. I was born in 1988, so I lived through some of the transformation. I was very into music as a teenager and messed around in a few bands / recording projects in high school. At the same time, my friend group would not think it strange to sit down and play video games together. These video game parties continued until I was close to 30, which is insane looking back on it.
I have yet to see a teenager these days who is really into music (or really any art), but I see plenty who are *very* into video games. They have a deep emotional connection to them that is hard for older people to understand. The values that video games promote — sitting still, being quiet, sharing, following directions — probably have a trickle down effect into other areas.