Forgotten Words
Thank you doesn't seem possible for many people today.
My Mother, Father, and Grandparents emphasized respect and gratitude for others and made sure us kids did the same. If one of us asked for advice or help from someone, we were expected to thank them regardless of the outcome.
I’ve noticed a trend over the last couple of decades; that trend is one where people just expect things from others and there is rarely, if ever, even an acknowledgement that the person serving us or helping us should receive a smile and, heaven forbid, a thank you.
The dangerous society we are building reminds me of old pictures of the Soviet Union and Communist China where no one is smiling in any of the stores and people are just getting whatever they want from someone and then moving on without even a hint of kindness, respect, courtesy, or gratitude.
We are in a selfish, demanding society where people only care about getting what they want from someone and then moving on. Whether it’s advice, help carrying groceries, or any other helpful task, it has become rare to get any kind of gratitude.
It’s one thing to not thank someone you’ve hired to assist with a task (which in my opinion is still, at a minimum, a bit tacky), but when someone takes time out of their day to answer a question for you or help you out of the goodness of their heart, it is shameful to not, at a minimum, mumble the words, “Thank You!”
I worked in mining for 30 years of my life and guess what? Scruffy (I shouldn’t use that terminology because we really aren’t scruffy!) blue-collar guys (and gals) actual thank you on the job. Not all of them mind you, but most of them. In fact, a majority of them. After thanking your fellow brother or sister miner you would get a reply of, “you bet!” or “you’re welcome!” If miners can do this, why the heck can’t the general public? What about friends, neighbors, and acquaintances? Shouldn’t we be able to expect gratitude from them as well?
I’ve thought a bit about why we are losing the words thank you, you’re welcome, along with other words of gratitude, and I believe it boils down to a few different things: A. Parents are not teaching their children to thank others. B. “Self-service” kiosks where there is no interaction has trained people to not feel the need to thank someone (because there’s no one there to thank… so, ungratefulness becomes a bad habit) C. People have become increasingly selfish and demanding due to what they are exposed to in pop-culture. D. Social media, texting, and comment sections have made it “okay” not to thank people. E. Fake friends and “family” online have blurred what real relationships are.
I could go on and on… as always! Haha.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I for one start limiting my contact with people who don’t have courtesy, respect, and gratitude. I don’t want to be around them. I loathe people with bad manners and thoughtlessness.
I often think, “Imagine if the people who went through The Great Depression had not had courtesy toward one another?” “Would even more people have starved to death?” (It is a fact that people of that generation were much more courteous and kind to one another, with some exceptions of course).
I can’t imagine taking my time to feed, hire, or help someone who is hungry if they just greedily grab whatever I give them and then leave without even as much as a middle finger gesture. Imagine that same ungrateful person coming back for more… I don’t think so.
If we are truly in for a time of great testing and peril, where our population will be hungry, broke, and destitute, I feel bad for those out there who just don’t realize that two words can mean the difference between starving to death or having a full belly. Those words? Thank you.
I still thank everyone. I usually get "no problem".. which funnily leads me to a long ago memory, so that I am always thinking when someone says No Problem they are saying No PLOBLEM.
many years ago (90's) we used to enjoy chinese food at a fun restaurant in town and I used to call the day before and let them know how big the group would be. The guy on the phone always said "no ploblem" so .... Just thinking, it seems No problem or Ploblem is the most common reply.
Back then I used to think it was kind of funny, instead of "you are welcome'
Also, perhaps now some people would rather get a participation trophy instead. :-P
Good one again, Rob. There's definitely a decline in common courtesy and manners, and you hit all of the main factors that have contributed, imo, especially, A) Parents not teaching their kids. I hear you about miners. My last career, which ended due to a disability last June, was driving a tractor-trailer. Flatbed, Bulk Cement or most often Dump Trailer. I did that for 12 years, and hauled a lot of aggregates from mines to concrete/asphalt plants, construction sites, etc. I loved that job, partly because of exactly what you were saying about the comraderie, respect and courtesy of almost everyone. When I pulled into the quarry for the first load in the morning, it was always, over CB radio, ''Good Morning'' to the loader operator and ''Thank you'' after getting loaded. Not a lot of chit chat because, as you know, the operators have their hands and minds full. Each subsequent load, there was always a ''thank you.'' The loaders usually acknowledged by the CB, tap of the horn, or the best would be a friendly wave if we happened to make eye contact. Last load there was always a ''Have a good night, weekend, ride home, etc'' and a ''thanks a lot.'' And yes, a lot of ''Be Safe's,'' too! I would say the vast majority of the workers participated in that way of interacting. Loved it. One word about self-checkouts and kiosks. I avoid them like the plague. It actually annoys the @#^! out of me when I see people use them. Anyway, ''Thanks Rob!'' and ''Thanks'' to all of our commenters here.