The Emotional Side of "Covid"

What have you been feeling over the last 28 months to flatten the curve? (And a poll at the end) :)

The roller coaster we’ve all been on over the last 28 months or so has been incredible hasn’t it?  Hills, curves and bumps in the dark that make Disney’s Magic Mountain pale by comparison.  Only this ride hasn’t been free with a one-time pass.  No, it’s been a ride that continually withdraws from us monetarily and emotionally. 

I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve been feeling over this period in my life’s history.  Like most of you, I haven’t always been able to define the exact emotion(s) that have been reeling through my mind, my gut, and my spirit.  I’ve narrowed them down to just a few and I’d like to share them with you.

First up:  Disappointment.  Disappointment can be a tricky one.  Are we disappointed with ourselves?  Is there something we could have done differently?  Should we have maybe said something sooner?  But this isn’t the kind of disappointment that I’ve felt in the past when I’ve been wronged or duped.  This is something much deeper.  My disappointment has been with the American people, the institutions we have been duped into trusting, and the government that is supposed to protect our liberty at all cost.  I never thought that a majority of people in America would agree to lock themselves in their homes, shut down their businesses, wear a giant useless mask over their faces, turn in their neighbors, family members and friends for not “towing the line” and then for the cherry on top, submit themselves to literal experimentation with a novel super secret product at the hands of companies that have paid billions of dollars in fines for their malfeasance over the years.  Yep.  I’m disappointed. 

Second on my list is anger.  Anger is another tricky one.  Are we angry with ourselves?  Should we have let loose with a vitriolic diatribe directed at the clerk that told us we couldn’t buy a product because we weren’t masked or shot up with the latest gene therapy?  Should we have burned a “vaccine” pop-up center to the ground? (of course we shouldn’t ever do things like that) I believe my anger is directed where it should be.  I’m angry with the gutless politicians who haven’t had the courage to say one thing about what’s been taking place.  I’m angry with those “Doctors”, “Nurses”, and “scientists” who have known something is wrong but have gone along with, and been complicit in, maiming and killing thousands of people.  The numbers are out there (and have been for a long time) that the magical super-secret soup that is being injected into people is, at a minimum, dangerous for many and also life threatening for a large segment of the population.  People who have cheerfully gone along with this to keep their jobs (don’t get mad at me, I know it’s a tough position to be in, trust me I do) while smiling behind their masks as they knowingly give a poisonous product to men, women and children of all ages angers me to the core.  Yep.  I’m angry. 

And then there’s grief.  I’ve been grieving over the last 28 months.  What happens to my home that I worked so hard to attain?  As a baby boomer, what’s going to happen to the bit of money I’ve worked so hard to save?  Am I going to get the retirement money I was promised?  Is the ponzi scheme that is called “social security” going to give me back any of the money that’s been taken from me since I was 14 years old?  This grief is almost like a “premeditated” grief because on one hand I don’t know what’s going to happen but at the same time I see everything crumbling around me.  Relationships with some family and friends that I love:  Lost.  The liberty to travel freely (something I used to love to do) while freely breathing the air:  Lost.  The choice of what to put into my body:  Lost (almost, I still won’t submit, but what if I need a heart or kidney transplant someday?  I’ll have two choices:  Take the shot I’m commanded to take to get said transplant or die).  The ability to go to the grocery store and buy healthy food at an affordable price:  Lost.  The list goes on.  Yep, I’m grieving.

Another prevalent emotion I’ve felt at times is Loneliness:  Often I’ve felt like I’m the only one who sees what is going on around me and that causes me to feel isolated.  I have such disdain for venues where more than one or two people are wearing the giant face diapers that I avoid any such setting.  I especially can’t stand any place where a “mask” is a *required* cult ritual for entrance and I *refuse* to go anywhere that requires them.  Yes, standing my ground and standing on principle has caused me an incredible amount of loneliness, even though I still have friends and family who haven’t fallen under the hypnotic spell that so much of the world has. 

Would you believe... Joy?  Yes!  I’ve had quite a lot of joy.  Some may think this strange, but I have rediscovered the belief system that I had left on the back burner for many years while I was working my arse off.  When I see an unmasked baby or child who is cooing and/or squealing with delight, my heart melts.  It almost causes a weird sense of hope that all is not lost.  When I hear birds singing outside of my windows before the sun comes up, I no longer get irritated that they woke me up, instead, I wake up with them and remember that these simple creatures aren’t worried about the day, what they will eat, where they will live or whether they will have their wings clipped and be put into a cage.  They sing because they are alive to see a new day.  So yes, I am joyful.

Hope makes the list. Actually, I’ve never completely lost hope.  I’ve never felt like everything is hopeless.  Every time I hear of someone who has changed their mind about the “Left vs Right” paradigm.  When a dear friend of mine says, “Rob, they’ll have to kill me before I take that covid shot”.  When I hear from good people I know who tell me they are choosing to have children in the midst of the madness.  When I read or hear of a family who decided enough is enough and ripped their kids out of the public indoctrination/grooming camps posing as schools.  Yes, I am hopeful.

And then there’s love. I have felt love over the last 28 months to flatten the curve.  When all of this madness was at it’s peak, I actually went a bit crazy for a time.  I visited my sister who had made up a room for me and the theme was “Love”.  Every blanket, every sheet, every piece of artwork… everything… had the word love on it.  It may sound a bit corny to some, but it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life.  You see, my sister loves me.  In spite of me.  She has the ability to put the past behind her, regardless of the hurt she may feel over past indiscretions.  She reminded me that love is important no matter what.  That those we share a bond with, familial or otherwise, *deserve* our love.  That even if we can never speak with someone we consider special ever again, it doesn’t mean we ever stop loving them.  My sister makes a conscious effort to love and she refuses to allow hatefulness to play a part in her home or her life in general.  Her example reminded me that “love covers a multitude of sins” as the good book says.  And it truly does.  I’ve found that love is a choice.  It’s not always an easy one, but we truly can choose to love people.  Yep, I am filled with love.

So, there’s seven of the most prevalent emotions I’ve felt during this period in our history.  There’s been a few more, but those seven make the top of the list.  What do we do with the emotions we are feeling when going through difficult times?  In the case of the “negative” (but I would argue useful) emotions, do we focus solely on them and turn them into violence, an heart attack or stroke?  Or do we use those negative emotions as a springboard to catapult us into positive action?  It’s our choice.  You know, we may not be able to change the world by our actions, but we can change *our* world.  We can take those unpleasant emotions and use them to empower ourselves to do amazing things for our communities, families, and friends.  And what about the positive emotions?  Should we maybe try to focus a bit more on those?  Maybe if we focus on those positive emotions, they will do even more to motivate us to do amazing things. 

So, finally, let’s just pretend for a moment that we don’t ever get out of this hell hole we’ve been spiraling down.  Let’s pretend that the monster named Klaus Schwab is right and we won’t ever go back to “Ze good old times” as he called them while telling us we’re going to eat bugs, drink sewage, own nothing and “be happy” while ze take the gene therapy.   Can we still choose to find joy, hope and love?  Damn right we can.  The world as it is now (especially politically) *wants* us to feel nothing but anger, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, grief and every other negative emotion possible in a human being.  The way we beat them is by *refusing* to allow them to do that to us.  We absolutely have to throw off those negative emotions (not entirely, as I said, I think they are useful as well) and make the decision to live our lives in the most positive mindset possible.  This choice is ours to make, and as dark as things may seem right now, I hope you will make the choice with me to do our very best to *never* let them steal our joy. Saying NO to these oppressive emotions being stirred up by the monsters is just as important as saying no to their tyranny.