Rob, i have to say that this resonates with me and my thoughts completely. FYI In my corporate jobs that I have held just getting quietly on with the job was not enough for them. The employer actually put you on an improvement plan if you didnt fill out a bullshit appraisal form every month telling how youve ticked all the boxes. Not saying thats to blame for the affermation stuff, but thought it relevant. By the way, where did you find that photo of me. I thought i was incognito 😁
Back in the 80s there were plenty of guys driving loud trucks/cars and tattoos.
Being a good man requires good father figures in life.
I've worked for horrible bosses and with men who acted like it was still the 1960s glory days who pretty much lead to this future generation that is disconnected from manhood.
Fortunately there are still a few good real men out there.
They either got there on their own, which is quite possible even now, or they were spurred on
by their father.
I see plenty of both.
Personally, I dated many guys back in the day. Many. I was an RN and even in nursing school, I had that reasonable radar of what my goals were. Perhaps all of that dating also showed me many undesirable life partners as well, oh my. I learned early on that I did not enjoy stupid guys, and I have always been a pretty good judge of character. I dumped so many men, sooo many.
ONE dumped me but it was only bc I was not catholic. He ended up marrying a catholic girl 10 years younger and became very successful. He came from a family of successful men.
I married a guy just like my dad. A government guy, not a CPA like my dad, but a contract lawyer.
He was not from the DC area in which I live, he was from Michigan. His personality and upbringing appealed to me. He came from a blue collar family but his dad was a genius, apparently discovered when he was in the Army. So, my husband is very smart too.
Anyway, what was I gonna say, ...?
oh, two things, back in the 70's there were a lot of lazy loser guys and I did not like them.
I had to make the effort to seek out the kind of men at I found eligible.
My parents were living in Brussels having a fun life, dad worked at NATO
so it was just me and my druggie sisters.
second, My dad. He was an incredible guy. I believe his personal self respect and accomplishments were because of his upbringing. He was born in New Jersey, but both of his parents were from Holland. They did not stay in the US long because my dad's dad was kind of a lazy guy, he had older brothers that were successful, but not dad's dad. I believe he was depressed from some family tragedies and occurrences when he was younger. My dad just thought he was a dope.
I am so impressed with my father. He died last July at the age of 99.5 and I think about him every day. I was with him when he was dying and I told him I loved him and he would always be in my heart and I would never forget him and mom.
Since his death, I have been a co trustee on his Trust. My dad was amazing. In some ways he thought this irrevocable trust would be easy to break up but it was not. I feel guilty that I did not help him clean it all up in his last years. We have had just a few details in the trust that are not clear so we will have to get a lawyer. The most fortunate thing is that I and my siblings get along.
We know we have this duty to get this paper work done and distribute the funds.
My brother is a hot head. He is the kind of man I would never marry. He is difficult enough as a brother.
Life is precious. we should continue to help people to look at themselves and be useful and productive. Life is not always just a party
Yes my dad was the strong silent type, a blue collar worker, good provider, could fix stuff etc... All the while drinking himself to death for reasons unknown - perhaps a deeper unfulfilled yearning? Finally it was his work that killed him, dying from asbestosis.
The thing that bothers me the most is that everybody now has to be part of some kind of monetized and sanctioned subculture. For example, because I'm in my mid 30s, I *must* like craft beer and enjoy playing old video games. Good luck trying to socialize if you don't fit those demographics. There's definite pressure to be part of the "in crowd", even 20 years after high school.
Nobody seems to do things that *they* like anymore.
I see them all the time. But society is so fucked up right now, both men and women are trying to figure out what's what... It's not our FAULT. We are made to be insecure by all the nasty little undertones in our culture...
I see lots of good and confident men... I love you guys. Seriously! I don't expect perfection, not John Wayne, or Bruce Willis, either. I like fellers who know who they are. So, don't stop being yourselves, gents, the gals love you, regardless, as long as you treat us well. And tell us what you want, and we'll try to do it! We really ARE two halves of a whole lotta good People Stuff.
Rob, i have to say that this resonates with me and my thoughts completely. FYI In my corporate jobs that I have held just getting quietly on with the job was not enough for them. The employer actually put you on an improvement plan if you didnt fill out a bullshit appraisal form every month telling how youve ticked all the boxes. Not saying thats to blame for the affermation stuff, but thought it relevant. By the way, where did you find that photo of me. I thought i was incognito 😁
Back in the 80s there were plenty of guys driving loud trucks/cars and tattoos.
Being a good man requires good father figures in life.
I've worked for horrible bosses and with men who acted like it was still the 1960s glory days who pretty much lead to this future generation that is disconnected from manhood.
Fortunately there are still a few good real men out there.
They either got there on their own, which is quite possible even now, or they were spurred on
by their father.
I see plenty of both.
Personally, I dated many guys back in the day. Many. I was an RN and even in nursing school, I had that reasonable radar of what my goals were. Perhaps all of that dating also showed me many undesirable life partners as well, oh my. I learned early on that I did not enjoy stupid guys, and I have always been a pretty good judge of character. I dumped so many men, sooo many.
ONE dumped me but it was only bc I was not catholic. He ended up marrying a catholic girl 10 years younger and became very successful. He came from a family of successful men.
I married a guy just like my dad. A government guy, not a CPA like my dad, but a contract lawyer.
He was not from the DC area in which I live, he was from Michigan. His personality and upbringing appealed to me. He came from a blue collar family but his dad was a genius, apparently discovered when he was in the Army. So, my husband is very smart too.
Anyway, what was I gonna say, ...?
oh, two things, back in the 70's there were a lot of lazy loser guys and I did not like them.
I had to make the effort to seek out the kind of men at I found eligible.
My parents were living in Brussels having a fun life, dad worked at NATO
so it was just me and my druggie sisters.
second, My dad. He was an incredible guy. I believe his personal self respect and accomplishments were because of his upbringing. He was born in New Jersey, but both of his parents were from Holland. They did not stay in the US long because my dad's dad was kind of a lazy guy, he had older brothers that were successful, but not dad's dad. I believe he was depressed from some family tragedies and occurrences when he was younger. My dad just thought he was a dope.
I am so impressed with my father. He died last July at the age of 99.5 and I think about him every day. I was with him when he was dying and I told him I loved him and he would always be in my heart and I would never forget him and mom.
Since his death, I have been a co trustee on his Trust. My dad was amazing. In some ways he thought this irrevocable trust would be easy to break up but it was not. I feel guilty that I did not help him clean it all up in his last years. We have had just a few details in the trust that are not clear so we will have to get a lawyer. The most fortunate thing is that I and my siblings get along.
We know we have this duty to get this paper work done and distribute the funds.
My brother is a hot head. He is the kind of man I would never marry. He is difficult enough as a brother.
Life is precious. we should continue to help people to look at themselves and be useful and productive. Life is not always just a party
Yes my dad was the strong silent type, a blue collar worker, good provider, could fix stuff etc... All the while drinking himself to death for reasons unknown - perhaps a deeper unfulfilled yearning? Finally it was his work that killed him, dying from asbestosis.
The thing that bothers me the most is that everybody now has to be part of some kind of monetized and sanctioned subculture. For example, because I'm in my mid 30s, I *must* like craft beer and enjoy playing old video games. Good luck trying to socialize if you don't fit those demographics. There's definite pressure to be part of the "in crowd", even 20 years after high school.
Nobody seems to do things that *they* like anymore.
They're around!
I see them all the time. But society is so fucked up right now, both men and women are trying to figure out what's what... It's not our FAULT. We are made to be insecure by all the nasty little undertones in our culture...
I see lots of good and confident men... I love you guys. Seriously! I don't expect perfection, not John Wayne, or Bruce Willis, either. I like fellers who know who they are. So, don't stop being yourselves, gents, the gals love you, regardless, as long as you treat us well. And tell us what you want, and we'll try to do it! We really ARE two halves of a whole lotta good People Stuff.